Blue

My boob was blue for about a year.


(I've decided that this chronicle of mine is going to have to be told out of order.  It just feels right.)


After the lump was removed and the Big C handed down, I had to have a second surgery to, to put it not-so-delicately, basically scrape around where the tumor was to ensure that any cancerous cells were removed.  During the surgery they also extracted lymph nodes from my left armpit to check to see if the cancer had spread.  In order to find the lymph nodes (or the cancer.  I don't remember), I was injected with a blue dye.


I had to pee shortly after I came to in the recovery room.  My pee was blue.  I'm talking like blue raspberry Kool-Aid blue.  (Is there a blue raspberry Kool-Aid?)  I started cracking up, I found it hilarious.  (For those of you who have never undergone surgery, you wake up high.  And everything is funny.)  The blue diminished over the next several pees, going from blue raspberry Kool-Aid to Windex to a sort of green and then finally back to normal.


Then there was blue poop.


Bright blue poop.  Amazing.  I was still a little high, so I made everyone in the house look at it before I flushed.  (They obliged.  More, I think, out of morbid curiosity than out of just simply trying to please me.)


My armpit and boob were both dyed blue from the injection.  The dye left my armpit relatively quickly, but it just would not leave my boob.  Every time I saw my doctor he'd say, "It's still blue! That's amazing, I've never had a patient have it last this long!"


It's ok.  Blue is my favorite color.

In The Beginning......

I was diagnosed with breast cancer on December 15th, 2003.  I was 22 years old and had recently made some big changes in my life. 


I am someone who deals with problems by talking through them.  I have never shied away from discussing my bout with cancer, have never felt uncomfortable answering questions or relaying experiences.  However, and this is hard to admit, at times I feel so much anger and resentment over the whole thing, more-so than I did while actually going through treatment.  


I guess this blog is my attempt to put it all out there in one place.  Maybe I can find others who have had similar experiences at such a young age to commiserate with.  Maybe I can find peace through sharing my experiences and fears with others (strangers) and finally just let it go.


Maybe this blog will serve as therapy.






..........Jeez, this is a rather serious post for a blog titled "Frankenboobie."